1. FEAR – of rejection, condemnation, judgment, failure. They desire to share with those closest to them but have fear of not being understood. Hide from fear by their bravado, posing, pride.

2. SHAME – They focus on being dedicated wives/husbands, fathers, pastors, employers, employees because of hidden expectations externally and internally.

3. GUILT – for not living up to their own expectations.

4. IGNORANCE – lack of clarity of what is going on with themself personally. Lack of awareness of self-deception and deceitfulness from others.

5. ISOLATION – To protect themselves from further harm they isolate. There is a desire to handle things on their own and remove themselves from accountability with others that care about them.

6. ADDICTIONS – All kinds of addictive behavior: Alcohol, pornography, social media, shopping, food, gambling, etc. This behavior makes them feel in control temporarily but it is an illusion and leads to greater despair.

7. DEPRESSION – underlying anger about their abuse that has not been processed with a counselor or a support group. Have an undercurrent of anger that is suppressed and turned inward.

8. DENIAL – Pushing away the feelings of hurt, anger, lack of power and control over the situation can lead to overall denial that the situation actually occurred.

Information taken from clients who have shared their experiences in this area.

By Sally Betters, Certified Life Coach